Update #1

We just handed Olivia over to the anesthesiologist. There really are no words to describe how I feel. It's been a very long morning and I have been reminded how much I hate CHD. 

We got here this morning at 8 and Livie was happy. We met with Dr. Echauser where we got the usual deluge of information. He walked us through what he would be doing, the risks, and then gave us the definite yes that Olivia would be needing a pacemaker. The pacemaker itself isn't what bothers me, but what it represents. It's just another reminder of how fragile her heart is. That, and since we were initially told she wouldn't need one I haven't done much research and feel like I'm caught with my pants somewhat down (I have looked into them a little.) Her heart rate is just too low. Her EKG yesterday had her HR in the 70's and they're just not comfortable with that.

We waited in preop for a LONG time. Long enough that they needed to start some fluids (they were supposed to start that in the OR) They gave Livie versed to calm her before the IV team came and that was entertaining. It hit and she could barely lift her head. She thought it was pretty funny and when she layed down on my lap she said, "I'm a bubble." And then blew spit bubbles for a bit. But even versed can't keep her from letting everyone know how she feels. She was very adamant that she did NOT like that medicine. She kept trying to get up to play despite her disfunctioning limbs and when they placed the IV she made sure to scream good and loud. Mommy struggled with that big time. Side story: yesterday when they drew labs Livie cried and screamed and when we were done she said, "I wasn't brave mommy." When I told her she was she said, "I cried, I wasn't brave." We fixed that train of thought quickly though and now she knows that crying doesn't mean you aren't brave. 

So now we sit in the waiting room. I hate this. I hate it so stinkin' bad.