Happy Hearts

Today was a little harder for me. I tend to cope with all this if I can see Livie's improvements. She did have a chest tube removed but that didn't seem to do much by way of helping my girl be happier. And those are the improvements I apparently need to have calm insides. Yesterday we went from crazy, delirious baby to subdued and calm, even if strangely vacant and quiet. Today Livie was completely vacant. She would stare at the TV or any one of her visitors, but would not react. Most of her visitors asked if she was nervous with them there because of how she was. I spent the entire day reminding myself this is only day two. Still, she was the same all day and I was really wanting some step forward, no matter how small. She has every right to be that way and I don't blame her at all, but I miss that smile to no end.
BUT! Around 10:30 tonight another prayer was answered. I decided not to sleep at the hospital tonight, figuring I'd have plenty of opportunity to get crappy sleep when we're home. Andrew and I went up after sending visitors home to say good night. Livie was watching Snow White, again, and wanted me to hold her hand. After a bit I sat down and then she asked me to snuggle her! So I climbed in bed with her and we watched together. It was magical. She put her little arm around my neck like she likes and I was in heaven. It didn't last long because she did get uncomfortable after a bit but still. So I decided we'd have a normal bedtime routine. After some nasty snot sucking (the oxygen makes her stuffy) we read books and after a slightly long pause in the middle of one she said, "Keep reading." So this girl hasn't spoken today. At all. Maybe a no here and there but mostly head nods and finger wagging. Then we sang. I asked her what she wanted and she said, "I am a child of God." So we sang all our favorite lullabies. She fell asleep to my singing AND even breathed through her nose. Because of the stuffy nose oxygen problem she's been breathing through her mouth and needing blow by which she hates too. She was sleeping calmly, comfortably, and we had a normal bedtime. It was perfect.
Livie still has a ways to go but she is doing so well. She doesn't seem to be mad at me anymore and hopefully tomorrow when she loses that chest tube she'll start eating. Livie did throw up today but we're pretty sure that was the oxycodone so now we're giving her zofran with her pain meds.
Livie was also very popular today. She got visits from Bompa, Grammy, Aunt Ally, Uncle Matt, Aunt Shannon, Aunt Bethany and Aunt Bethany's mom. While Livie may have stared at you all and looked nervous, I know she appreciated the visits. And I certainly do too.