Overwhelmed

We registered Olivia for her cath today. That's not the overwhelming part. Yes, it makes it a little more real just like the call I will be receiving Friday with the cath's time and instructions, but not necessarily overwhelming...yet. In case you didn't know, I am an expert procrastinator (said as I type a blog post instead of prepping for scouts tomorrow.) So, the kind of overwhelmed we're all expecting from Sarah probably won't occur until the car ride down to good ol' SLC.

Anyway, let's hop of the tangent train. 

Yesterday and today have been beautifully overwhelming. As most of you loyal readers already know, I decided I'd go ahead and make up some t-shirts for our family to wear for Olivia, for her surgery. I made a cute little gender neutral design and decided I'd go ahead and offer to let others purchase if they so desired. Just for kicks and giggles I did a cost estimate on the site I used. I estimated that we'd order 20, thinking that was an extremely generous number. Really, I was guessing maybe 10 shirts would ultimately be ordered. Over the last 24 hours I have had numerous requests for shirts from people I expected and from people I didn't. Today I sat with one of my best friends and she went on and on about how excited she was for her shirt. And considering this girl is planning a trip to the UK in September and talked about a tshirt more than that...all I can say is, we are so blessed. 

Sometimes, ok, a lot of the time, this journey is so lonely. Life gets normal and while I still fret and worry about my blue baby, others say, "She looks so good. She acts so normal." So I worry that they think she is perfectly healthy and we don't need a little extra love and support from time to time. I have worried that because she survived two other open heart surgeries everyone will brush this one aside because, she's done it before so it's no big deal (silly, I know, but my mind has a mind of its own...) I have worried that our local support (neighborhood and ward) would be like our last -- nonexistent.  I have worried that the "If you need anything..." would be an empty offer. I have worried that we would travel this journey alone more often than not. As someone who hates being alone, who's greatest fear is being alone, all these worries have caused me to pout and be a bit weepy from time to time. It must be the middle child in me...

So over the last 24 hours, with each new request for a simple shirt, I have been overwhelmed by the love that has been offered for our family. I have been reminded just how blessed I am in my family and friends. The people that have been placed in my life, all of you, are who have gotten me through two open heart surgeries, three (almost four) heart caths, countless echoes, worrying, stressing, panicking, crying. You all are apart of the miracles we get to witness daily in this journey. I cannot fully express the gratitude that is in my heart tonight. When the number of shirts I was expecting (10) surpassed my high estimate (20) and kept rising to, as of right now, 71...no words. Only tears of overwhelming love and gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for me and Olivia.