"How bow-et"

 Excuse me while I get emotional for a moment.  With tonight being New Years Eve I am doing what everyone is doing.  Reflecting, remembering, reminiscing.
When this year started we got the news that Olivia was trending towards heart failure.  To say I was terrified is an understatement.  I was sure 2014 was going to be a horrible roller coaster ride filled with uncertainty, pain, and fear.  Instead I got the greatest gift a mother could get.  One more year with her little girl.  One more year to prove that miracles happen.  One more year to watch Olivia grow, to see her enter the terrible two's, to see her discover more of her world, to listen to sibling fights and love, to snuggle, to play, to scream, to laugh, to live.
This morning I got woken up by a little hand tugging on my finger and a little voice saying, "How bow-et watch Mee Mouse?  How bow-et watch Elmo?  On phone?"  So I grabbed that little girl and tucked her in bed to get warm (because she refuses to leave her slippers on and gets cold) and instead of watching either of her choices we made a video of her.
I try so hard to document moments with her because I never know when they will end.  Maybe that's why the year started out with the bad news.  Maybe I got that punch in the gut news first so that everything that followed would be a more obvious miracle.  Maybe so that the terrible two's (which are by far worse with Olivia than they were with Ella) wouldn't be as frustrating.
So yes, the terrible two's have been hard around here.  There's lots of whining and crying but there are also a lot of precious moments.  Olivia is discovering herself everyday and I'm so happy to witness it.  She loves watching movies like a true daughter of mine, her favorites being Wallace and Grommit, Frozen, anything in which Kermit, Mickey, or Elmo.  She loves chicken, vegetables, oranges, and all snacks which she lovingly calls "nacks."  She loves reading, singing, dancing, and talking, FINALLY!  Every new little phrase she says melts me.  Hearing her say "dane-it!" when I tell her no or "Sun wake up, I wake up" every morning or "betuz" (because) which is her answer to everything.  "What are you doing?" "Betuz." "How are you?" "Betuz" "Why'd you do that?"  "Betuz"  She kills me with cuteness.  And to those lucky enough to be on my favorites list on my phone, you're welcome for those adorable phone calls.  Yes, with her new found love of talking she has also discovered a love for phone calls and has figured out how to use my phone.  Most of the time she asks before calling Grammy or Daddy or Randi.  But not always.
Right now Olivia sits next to me making lollipops, snakes, and mud pies out of play dough and I love hearing her chatter about her most recent burp, or telling the kitty to get down.  It makes 2015 seem awfully scary.
A few weeks ago I scheduled Olivia's next cardiology appointment.  She's been doing so well, minus the nasty cold that required a little oxygen support.  She's made it further than she ever has between appointments and I've finally stopped worrying every day about her sats and color.  So it must be time to upset all that.  Olivia's next appointment will include and echo, the first step in the evaluation for her fontan.  The fontan is the final step in her "repair" and I'm scared.  Step one was terrifying.  Surgery 2 was less so because things had been so bad that we all needed it.  We've gotten used to normal.  We've gotten to breath easily (mostly) and now that will all be disrupted and I am scared.  We're looking at May or June for Liv's surgery but there will be an echo, and a cath if I am correct before.  I know it's in advance but I'm asking for prayers now anyway.  Prayers for peace for all of us, for a successful surgery, for whatever you can think of.  So if my posts get emotional more often than not, you know why.